Prinz von Sommerhoffnung…..HEH?????!!!!!!

2 05 2008

So I came across this particular fanfic on FF.net. I overlooked the authors notes in the very beginning and began reading. Most of the time, I read through author’s notes AFTER I’ve finished the chapter. Perhaps I should have done that first. Then I wouldn’t have wasted my time on such filth.

I left this review for the person that calls himself “Warp Ligia Obscura“…AKA Warpobsura on Animesuki:

“Oh dear…this was indeed painful to read.

Are you trying to alienate readers around the world by adding in jargon that most native english speakers are oblivious to? If you’re going to add elements of your native land couldn’t you have done this on a fanfiction site that caters to Singapore?Yes, I took the liberty to visit your profile on your LJ out of curiousity – all I found was a location and plenty of rubbish.

I showed this to a couple friends and well…let’s just say that my comments are “candy” compared to the crudeness that came out of their orifaces.

And how do you explain the ridiculous name changes? You are trying so very hard to be original and prove that you are not an empty vessel but all you’ve managed to accomplish was turn readers away. It explains why you only have 7 reviewers…make that 8 since I just added my two cents (woohoo).

I’d say good luck but I think you’ll need more than that. Perhaps invest in an english dictionary and a reality check.”

–Lone Wolf

Anyhow, for painful amusement you could read this chapter but I MUST warn you….after I read his ‘Author’s Note’ I felt nothing but my breakfast slowly crawling it’s way up my Esophagus. His exact words were, “Contains homophobic opinions that may or may not be a reflection of the author’s tastes.”

And please…FF.net utilizes the english language…..not Singlish.

Meh, just stay away from his ludicrous piece of filth. He’s really not worth the extra “two cents” but if people want to add to my insulting review, by all means, どうぞ…

Seriously…someone should create the “Fanfiction Police” for all the crap that’s posted in the Mai Hime Section of Fanfiction.net. There are a few gems there but the rest are crap. And how many stories do we have to read with “Shizuru going away and Natsuki chasing after her”….um hello?” IT”S BEEN DONE TO DEATH!!!!

Why don’t you check out, “All With Good Intentions” by Kieli and “Evolution” by Vilkacis. These are a few of those rare gems I was talking about not to mention a couple of the pioneers for Natshiz fanfiction….I mean examine the dates when those were written! During the initial height of the series.

Other well-constructed and very original fics that I also consider gems that fall along a canon or AU setting would be, “Passages” by EA Simpson, “Inter Nos”, by Ethnewinter, “In May” by inpassing, “The Chase” by Paxbanana (is she still alive btw?), “Dents in Her Armor” by Starving Lunatic and a few others that will be easy to notice amongst the muck of poorly written stories.

If you want pure, nicely drafted smut, then I recommend Leebot’s, “What Dreams May Come” and his sequel entitled, “Perchance to Dream.”

Yes, yes…I’ve ranted about this before I think…but let’s just say I’m revisiting the topic.

Anyhow, choose your fiction wisely, I guess. And don’t succumb to anything on FFnet that contains poor grammar, spelling errors and…well…basically the “lack” of general knowledge of the english language LOL. Plus research…ALWAYS do your research. You know, the internet used to be referred to as the “Information Superhighway.” Since it’s at your fingertips why not utilize the vast amount of knowledge that’s out there? You say it’s difficult to find? Please, you’re just not trying hard enough…or maybe not trying at all.

Most of the new NatShiz fanfic authors seem to think that if it contains the subject matter that people are interested in, then that alone should make up for the errors. *shakes head – how naive*.

 

EDIT: WOW! They used the Ting Ting’s “Shut Up and Let Me Go” for the newest IPod commercial. Damn I just went to the Itunes store and purchased it. -_-;;

–Lone Wolf

一匹狼

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10 responses

2 05 2008
anamatics

I think that ‘The Chase’ died a long time ago, which is a shame, because I really liked that particular-brand-of-crazy Fujino. One very original story and a good one at that, if a little OOC is Play For Me by Wolf of the Hidden Flames. It’s musical and enjoyable.

What’s depressing is that I know exactly what you mean. While many of the great HiME fanfics were written two or three years ago now (when the fandom was at it’s awesomest) releasing shows in the US tends to introduce a whole new level of awful to the mix. I love ShizNat/NatShiz, and I always will; but everyone is just plain sick of it because the very nature of Shizuru and Natsuki’s relationship forces people to, at least for a while, work within the same over done plot.

I tried to avoid that with Passages, but as it is, I’m still trying to go through and make sure that I’ve got all the plot holes covered. D: And GOD, do you remember the flack that I got for adding an A/N about doing research? I swear, that was the chapter where I got like 20 something reviews telling me to get off my high horse and just deal with it.

I was thinking. There’s not a TON of HiME fanfic that’s actually good. Some should make an FF.net mule account and just create a community that only has decent fanfiction in it. We could get together a bunch of people who are all long time authors and lurkers in the genre and get their recs of something. It wouldn’t be that hard, just a little masochistic to find all of the really good stories amid the drivel.

that being said, I always dread the US release of my favorite anime because that’s when the fandom goes down hill. I really really hope that no one picks up Nanoha (since Geneon sort of died…), because you just know that there’s already so many things that can go wrong with the Nanoha fandom without awful annoying illiterate fangirls too.

Conclusion: The internet and Fanfiction.net are awful places.

3 05 2008
Lone Wolf

To anamatics

I think that ‘The Chase’ died a long time ago, which is a shame, because I really liked that particular-brand-of-crazy Fujino.

Ugh, really? That really is a shame. *sigh*

One very original story and a good one at that, if a little OOC is Play For Me by Wolf of the Hidden Flames. It’s musical and enjoyable.

Ah! Actually I checked that out not too long ago and you’re right. It’s original and pleasant to read. I should have mentioned that one as well ^_^;;;;

I love ShizNat/NatShiz, and I always will; but everyone is just plain sick of it because the very nature of Shizuru and Natsuki’s relationship forces people to, at least for a while, work within the same over done plot.

Yes, I know what you mean. It’s like being shovel fed the same episode over and over again LOL.

I tried to avoid that with Passages, but as it is, I’m still trying to go through and make sure that I’ve got all the plot holes covered. D:

I think you do such an excellent portrayal and actually it’s closer to canon than most fics. I’m just so glad you didn’t make Shizuru disgustingly wealthy hahahaha! And I love Jun. The pairs dedication and love for him is moving to say the least. Another thing I must thank you for is showing the viewers that Natsuki is capable of being more than just a blue-collared worker (there are plenty of fics where she’s depicted as a lowly mechanic which the knowledge of a skin rash). I love the fact that she’s very 3-dimensional in your story.

And GOD, do you remember the flack that I got for adding an A/N about doing research? I swear, that was the chapter where I got like 20 something reviews telling me to get off my high horse and just deal with it.

Yes, that was just ridiculous. Her name was Olivia-something? Bleh….lack of research is called “sheer laziness” and they just don’t want to invest in the time and effort so they’ll actually develop a ShizNat storyline deprived of even a smidge of anything canon. There was one fic that had the couple going to “Olive Garden” I’ve been to Japan….there’s no Olive Garden….but there IS an El Torito at the Sunshine 60 in Ikebukuro Hahahaha!

I was thinking. There’s not a TON of HiME fanfic that’s actually good. Some should make an FF.net mule account and just create a community that only has decent fanfiction in it. We could get together a bunch of people who are all long time authors and lurkers in the genre and get their recs of something. It wouldn’t be that hard, just a little masochistic to find all of the really good stories amid the drivel.

That’s actually an excellent idea! Seriously, we’d be able to filter through the muck…..46 pages of it XD.

that being said, I always dread the US release of my favorite anime because that’s when the fandom goes down hill. I really really hope that no one picks up Nanoha (since Geneon sort of died…), because you just know that there’s already so many things that can go wrong with the Nanoha fandom without awful annoying illiterate fangirls too.

Honestly I completely agree. There’s nothing more terrifying than for a series to achieve “Naruto” level. I think this is why I just invest in Region 2 releases now. I’ve been making an effort to support Japan sales rather than the America’s sales…especially now. Having worked in that dark part of the domestic industry, I’ve learned how apathetic the “suits” are to the fans. It’s true that fans can become rather ‘overzealous’ and it can grow annoying as hell but I remember the main marketing person (now sales director) not even making the slightest endeavor to connect to the fans and show them what they want. I remember having an argument with him (we’ll call him Spam) about Code Geass. Because the series contained mecha he automatically assumed that the series was absorbed only by the male population. I set him straight but it took the CEO to finally convince him that it had a fair share of female fans partly because of the whole “CLAMP” angle…..That idiot, Spam just doesn’t get it.

Conclusion: The internet and Fanfiction.net are awful places.

I couldn’t agree with you more.

–Lone Wolf

3 05 2008
anamatics

I remember having an argument with him (we’ll call him Spam) about Code Geass. Because the series contained mecha he automatically assumed that the series was absorbed only by the male population. I set him straight but it took the CEO to finally convince him that it had a fair share of female fans partly because of the whole “CLAMP” angle…..That idiot, Spam just doesn’t get it.

I… am at a loss for words. Mostly because most of the Code Geass fans are girls, or guys who appreciate the fact that anything CLAMP touches automatically becomes about fifty times gayer (and therefore, in many fangirl’s eyes) more awesome. Heck. We call it ‘Code Gayass’ most of the time around here…

There’s a lot of anime that had mecha that wasn’t just for guys. Look at Kannazuki no Miko. Never met a male fan for that.

Another thing I must thank you for is showing the viewers that Natsuki is capable of being more than just a blue-collared worker (there are plenty of fics where she’s depicted as a lowly mechanic which the knowledge of a skin rash).

That has always bothered me about fanfiction, because I never got the opinion that Natsuki wasn’t smart, she just had better things to do with her time than go to class most of the time. I think that with the burden of being a HiME removed from her, she’d go right back to class. In the show they never commented on her grades, only her truancy (sp?) and how her attendance record was very poor.

That being said, Natsuki likes European model motorcycles, I can’t imagine that there’s a huge market for those in Japan. (What with all the shiny Japanese companies making their own shiny crotch rockets.) It wouldn’t be financially plausible for her to be doing something like mechanics for work.

Part of me thinks that people force that stereotype on her because they need to fill the ‘butch’ ‘femme’ roles that both Shizuru and Natsuki sort of transcend.

/ two cents.

3 05 2008
Lone Wolf

To anamatics

I… am at a loss for words. Mostly because most of the Code Geass fans are girls, or guys who appreciate the fact that anything CLAMP touches automatically becomes about fifty times gayer (and therefore, in many fangirl’s eyes) more awesome. Heck. We call it ‘Code Gayass’ most of the time around here…

Oh I know what you mean! That particular “guy” did nothing but irritate me with his inaccurate knowledge of anime fandom. He really doesn’t know the magnitude of popularity that certain Mangaka have….or should I say the “power” that mangaka have over their fans LOL.

Oh get this….when he was trying to find a bi-line for Mai Hime….this is what he came up with….”Harry Potter meets……blah blah Sci-Fi”. I am so glad to be out of there. It’s not like they listened to any of MY input. Anyhow this guy used to work for Zero productions (ADR voice over studio) so it’s beyond me how he could possibly lack any further input.

That has always bothered me about fanfiction, because I never got the opinion that Natsuki wasn’t smart, she just had better things to do with her time than go to class most of the time. I think that with the burden of being a HiME removed from her, she’d go right back to class. In the show they never commented on her grades, only her truancy (sp?) and how her attendance record was very poor.

Very true…actually, in “Natsuki no Prelude”, Natsuki mini-novel backstory, it confirms that Natsuki did rather well with her exams and the instructors themselve were pleased. It implied that she was diligent with her studies especially when it came to exam time. But like you said…it was just her attendance that was poor ^_^;;;

That being said, Natsuki likes European model motorcycles, I can’t imagine that there’s a huge market for those in Japan. (What with all the shiny Japanese companies making their own shiny crotch rockets.) It wouldn’t be financially plausible for her to be doing something like mechanics for work.

Surprisingly enough, European import models are quite popular in Japan. In fact the whole “old style” cafe racer look is somewhat “in” right now. Especially Harleys. Ironically, Natsuki purchased a 1985 Hailwood Replica Ducati because her father owned the exact same model (this was also mentioned in “Natsuki no Prelude”. It’s a great source of information. If I can find the link, I’ll send it to you. A very interesting backstory to read as it includes the anime scene at the cliff with Sakomizu at the beginning…this is actually the prologue to the mini-novel and then it does a flashback to all the events in Natsuki life that lead to the height of the Carnival.

Another thing that I thought was a great source of info was that it implied that Natsuki was the first of the HIME’s to awaken her powers. She had awakened in middle school not too long after meeting Shizuru. It was an encounter with Nagi and during their heated discussion, she felt a pain on her side (very similar to a menstrual cramp). Next thing you knew, she was able to summon her guns much to her surprise. Her meeting with Duran was rather touching but I won’t spoil too much. You can check out the rest using the link I’ll send you.

Edit: Found it! Apollyon-0 actually translated the entire mini-novel so credits go to that person.
http://apollyon-0.livejournal.com/8637.html

Not sure if you could also use this bit of info for fics but it also implies that Shizuru was the second person to awaken her powers. Nagi’s words to himself were, “”…Fufu. Soon, my dear princesses. You first, Natsuki-chan…” whispered a white-haired boy wearing a middle school uniform, sitting on a tree branch, smiling smugly.

Now I’m not harping on mechanics themselves since I actually attended a Motorcycle mechanic school myself. However, I never pursued a career in motorcycle mechanics because I knew how much of a low paying position it is. At best, a typical motorcycle mechanic only gets paid 30k. During my time in Arizona as a mechanic student, I spent time at the track and did some pitcrew work…I got paid peanuts LOL. But as exciting as it was, I couldn’t ignore my love for art and HELL, I had a damn degree LOL….it would have been such a waste of my college education if had turned into a “blue-collar”. Anyhow my point is, Natsuki is really a multi-faceted creature and deserves better than a career as a grease monkey. That’s why I am very pleased to see Natsuki with an actual career in your story.

Shizuru role as a teacher certainly fits her. In “Natsuki no Prelude” it describes Shizuru as … “A female student who already gave off an air of mature charm and serenity….”(Chapter 1)

—Lone Wolf

3 05 2008
Leebot

Thanks for the plug, LW, though I don’t think What Dreams may Come is very “pure” when it comes to smut. It’s a rather long fic with just one sex scene near the end. But that’s beside the point. 😛 I should also recommend Centauri2002’s Giving In for (really) pure smut.

I have to second your recommendation to do your research as well. I’m not always perfect with it, but I try to get all my facts straight (rewatching scenes from the anime many times, searching for other information on the internet as it’s been translated) to keep true to canon. I’m not perfect though, and I don’t have access to every bit of material, so I have made a few mistakes here and there. I also know the limitations of my research ability (for instance, I don’t know much about Japanese life, and it’s harder to research generalities like that), and I try to work around them when I can. But all in all, I think it ends up a lot better than in some fics I’ve read where people just don’t make any effort at all. (Oh, and don’t be afraid to point out any mistakes I do make. I’ve corrected some that I found out about in the past. I’m not above polishing my published work.)

For more evidence on the benefits on research… how do you think a man got so good at writing lesbian sex scenes? Lots and lots of research. Nothing saying research can’t be enjoyable. 😉

Some should make an FF.net mule account and just create a community that only has decent fanfiction in it.

Actually, I already tried to start that, but didn’t get much help in working on it. Since I already had a CC to my name, ShizNat-No-Yume set one up for us (Blooming Sakura). Made a post about it when the BS forums were up, but no one seemed to want to help. If you want to make a go of it now, just send a message to ShizNat-No-Yume and she’ll set you up on the staff.

Oh get this….when he was trying to find a bi-line for Mai Hime….this is what he came up with….”Harry Potter meets……blah blah Sci-Fi”.

Hmm, how about “Sailor Moon meets Highlander”? And that’s only if you’re sticking to the X meets Y form.

Shizuru role as a teacher certainly fits her. In “Natsuki no Prelude” it describes Shizuru as … “A female student who already gave off an air of mature charm and serenity….”(Chapter 1)

Heh, I actually chose to make Natsuki a teacher in the fast-forward of the Dreams storyline I showed in Proposal. She doesn’t have quite the air that Shizuru does, but I think she could pull off being the cool teacher after some years of maturing into the role. I’m not sure how much of that development I’ll actually end up writing, but we’ll see.

4 05 2008
anamatics

Hmm, how about “Sailor Moon meets Highlander”? And that’s only if you’re sticking to the X meets Y form.

I DIED. Because that’s how I always describe HiME when I post about it on 4chan. “HiME-lander, there can be only one!” I’m glad that I’m not the only one who saw the Highlander moments of HiME.

”Harry Potter meets……blah blah Sci-Fi”

But seriously? Harry Potter? How is HiME even remotely like Harry Potter? -boggles at the statement some more-

I don’t get it. At. All.

Maybe he was thinking of Destiny? That takes place at a school for mages, right?

Thanks for the link to Natsuki’s Prelude. I knew that I’d read it before, but every time I went back to go and look for it, I could never find it. I have the raw scans, which helped a little, but I have to admit that running to the dictionary every other kanji can get a little annoying when you’re not even sure what the reading of the kanji is in the first place. Wow. I fail at Japanese.

And wow… about my motorcycle comment. I guess that I should have looked a little more closely at that information when I was doing the initial research for Passages. Not that it really matters, but still, Shizuru’s strategy for how to deal with First District once the carnival was over was a good one. Take them for all they could, since they were offering financial support anyway, one doesn’t become a mechanic when one is offered a free ride to college.

Actually, I already tried to start that, but didn’t get much help in working on it. Since I already had a CC to my name, ShizNat-No-Yume set one up for us (Blooming Sakura). Made a post about it when the BS forums were up, but no one seemed to want to help.

I wonder if the lack of wanting to help is because people think that there will be some sort of dog-fight over what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ in terms of fanfiction.

Take my fic, for instance. I would argue that Passages is pretty original for the HiME fandom, but my other fic, The Strange Affair of the Katsu Ruins, is fairly average HiME-Otome crossover. So do I, as the author, recommend both fics, or just the one?

It’s a big moral dilemma, because people have such different opinions on what makes ‘good’ fic.

4 05 2008
Lone Wolf

To anamatics

I DIED. Because that’s how I always describe HiME when I post about it on 4chan. “HiME-lander, there can be only one!” I’m glad that I’m not the only one who saw the Highlander moments of HiME.

I just spewed my drink…OMG that’s brilliant you two! Himelander hahahaha!

Wow, I found something interesting a few minutes ago. I knew that Sunrise loosely spoofed Mai Hime from their failing “Scryed” series but they also spoofed “Kamen Rider Ryuki” as well…this is a closer adaptation:

I never realized this and I’ve even watched this series….gah.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamen_Rider_Ryuki

But seriously? Harry Potter? How is HiME even remotely like Harry Potter? -boggles at the statement some more-

I don’t get it. At. All.

Maybe he was thinking of Destiny? That takes place at a school for mages, right?

LMAO!! I don’t get it either. And it causes me to just rub my temples. Actually no one at Bandai even knows about Mai HIme Destiny sadly….see how little informed they are??? It’s pathetic.

Take my fic, for instance. I would argue that Passages is pretty original for the HiME fandom, but my other fic, The Strange Affair of the Katsu Ruins, is fairly average HiME-Otome crossover. So do I, as the author, recommend both fics, or just the one?

I’d recommend both. I remember Katsu Ruins and found it extremely engaging. When you had initially written this, I didn’t recall anyone touching this subject often so perhaps you pioneered this idea? And if you didn’t, I don’t remember running into similar plots that pulled even half the weight that your fic carried.

–Lone Wolf

7 05 2008
london12

Which exactly fic was it? I can’t find it =/
But yes there are some very poor fics =/ Without much description or with too simply words… =/
Of course people try and I don’t mind grammer mistakes, especially when my grammer is bad as well^^ But when there is TOO many of them! And when fic is really poor written…that is a waste of time =/ To people like this I really suggest to study a little more before writing^^

9 05 2008
Kieli

ROTFLMAO! Oh my god, I’ve not laughed so hard in a while. You are exquisitely creative when irritated (and thank you for the compliment…I was blushing like mad). I must admit, though I’ve heard of most of the authors on your list, there are a few that I have not. All the more incentive to go and seek out their stories since you’ve recommended them so highly (I adore Leebot too, btw, but don’t tell him that ;-P )

I third your vehement recommendation for fledgling fanfiction writers. Nothing is more distracting than reading a story where clearly the author:

a) is off in their own very disturbing fantasy land with some of a series’ characters

b) has not even remotely bothered to pay attention to the show

c) has not bothered to have a dictionary, thesaurus nor some other flavour of reference material handy

d) has not bothered to have quality beta readers suss out the more troublesome passages in their story

These sorts of things tend to send some readers into fits of pique. After talking with LW, I have to say, I’m feeling the urge to go through my own work with a finer toothed comb and rid them of undesirable elements that make me cringe.

Off topic: Please pardon me, London12, but that’s “grammar”. I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just that simple little word is a common misspelling nightmare.

10 05 2008
DigiGatou

Thanks for the comment on my blog. 🙂

The fic was M-rated and updated a looong time ago though, what made you read it?
I did review it when the third? chapter was uploaded last December.
Went back in the pages to find my review lol.

I’ll be harsh here.

I know you said that flames aren’t tolerated, but honestly, why don’t you just create all your own characters instead of mauling the Mai Hime characters and trying to pass it off as some extremely AU fic.

Plus, I just hate the names(somerwhatthenung, wtf?) and kan-za-ji(wtf? a skewed version of chop it down?), they sound and read bad.

It’s really looking like you’re trying to pass off this fanfic as some kind of extremely sophisticated and deep story, but, it doesn’t work.

Ps. I laughed/cringed my ** off at the ‘lanjiao’ line when I skimmed through. I’m not sure if the setting you’ve created is in Singapore or Hong Kong or some Asian country..but again, WTF?

Sorry, but this is not my type of fic.

I just think that those kinds of fics are just incredibly pretentious, and when you have tons of people with the same mindset it just snowballs and overwhelms anything good whether on AS or FF.net.

And those recommendations you made are great. I’ve been recommending Inter Nos and Passages to anyone whom I know that’s into ShizNat.

I wonder if the lack of wanting to help is because people think that there will be some sort of dog-fight over what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ in terms of fanfiction.
Yeah. I get the same impression that most authors wouldn’t want to openly flame another writer’s fic, or deliberately leave out someone’s fic from a community because it was ‘bad’.

And there’s already the The Gentle and Stained Hands community for the good ShizNat fics.
I used to trawl through that comm in the beginning of my obsession with ShizNat and found all the great fics like If There be Thorns by Entropy Empathy and the ShizuruNatsuki drabble cycle by greywing there.

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